Since it was a nice sunny day, I decided to go in my baby car - the Cappuccino - with the roof off. Very nice from April to September. Got halfway down and the traffic around Chessington was appalling.

Suddenly the car stopped. After frantic calls to the AA (thank God I've remained a fully paid up member throughout my HMP stay) a very helpful man arrived. It was only the fan belt. No problem. Easy to fix... except...

It had been sucked into the engine and ruined it.

"This never happens - You must be the unluckiest man in the world", he said, not quite realising how much I've had to put up with this entire century.

So another very nice man arrived in a large truck (I couldn't even be towed) which carried me (plus chocs and flowers) home to London.

Ah well, at least my house is now full of bright Easter flowers!