There has never, ever been any porn on any of my computers or phones. I'm not into porn.

They were still images of all types, mainly out of focus grabbed from films, low quality and sheer rubbish. Clearly some police hack had trawled through the Dark Web, whatever that is, and grabbed 26 images to dump on computers.

It became hilariously obvious these had never been on my computer and officers, blushing in shame, gave up and never mentioned this again.

But I went to a computer expert, when I got my laptops back, and, indeed, there were no deleted porn images on any of them.

So was this simply a lie? Surely we could have proved it?

My expert had seen this tried on before. This is what police do.

They freeze the seized laptop date and time clock at an earlier date; then they dump the package on it; then they delete it; and then they reset the date and time to the correct one - so, if challenged, they can provide proof that the package WAS on the laptop some years ago and was deleted (but remained buried there).

I wonder if this was what was used on certain old celebrity computers? Criminal behaviour by police - no surprise there!