Basically this conspiracy to pervert the course of justice is encouraging those who, in days gone by, used to be called blackmailers. Instead of notes using letters cut out of newspapers and glued onto Basildon Bond, Agatha Christie's villains have moved onto relying on our police, CPS and media to do the job for them.

False Allegations Rules -

1) preferably accuse the dead; this is failsafe but sometimes does not lead to large sums; media only pays a lot for stories about living celebrities or important people. And compensation is limited.

2) preferably make gay allegations - police like to persecute homosexuals and find it uncomfortable to ask heterosexual questions as some of them are straight.

3) the bigger the celebrity, the better the subsequent coverage and the easier to find backup detail for your tales online.

4) practice crying and distress; learn phrases like "it's destroyed my life".

5) find a good firm of lawyers to accept your No Win No Fee claims - but watch them; they will take most of your earnings if possible.

6) link up with a bent hack or corrupt retired journalist or cop - they will advise you and plant stories for you.